What's up guys. Back again with more dating dilemmas (and apparently, a problem with my "D" key). I hadn't been back on OkC for a while because I was caught up with my real world relationships (which didn't work out either.). I came back because I realized that I don't really know how to make small talk. I figured this online dating site would be a great place for me to learn. Better than some random chat rooms because I could message people I genuinely wanted to get to know about, an learn some small talk skills. While that experiment pans out, I decided to come back to this one as well. This here ended up being a small talk conversation that literally just fell apart. I really don't know where I went wrong here. I thought . Somebody tell me how I just kind of Lost Stephanie.
The premise: Saw a girl whose profile I liked, so I messaged her. Somewhere in her profile, it says something like "I'd melt for any guy who would sing me Coldplay. The old stuff". I know some Coldplay, I can sing decently, so let's hit her up.
How far back is considered Old Coldplay?
Sep. 12, 2010 – 12:11am I'll admit, the oldest Coldplay album I know is Parachutes, back in 2000 or so. But the only song I can sing decently is the Scientist, maybe Clocks on a good day(I really wouldn't cut it as a tenor).
A terrible travesty that you could not watch power rangers Or ninja turtles, since I'm pretty sure most guys our age (including myself) still secretly want to be one or some awesome combination of the two.
Is New York far away enough to have Pen Pals? or were you hoping for someone in China?
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Sep. 14, 2010 – 5:16am you letter was pretty awesome :) and yes new York is far enough ^-^
so when will you sing for me?
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Sep. 14, 2010 – 7:53pm As soon as I can get some karaoke Coldplay tracks, so I can't hide behind Chris Martin. I'm not as talented as he is, but I do my best. I'm not one of those terrible singers who no one has the heart to tell them they're terrible, it's just I've made friends with some really talented singers, so It's hard to feel confident.
My name is Stephen, my favorite color is Alizarin, and I love the Winter. How do you do? =]
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Sep. 15, 2010 – 4:29am haha ok then sounds good :)
hi Stephen :] I'm Stephanie Ann. I love then colors yellow and grey together, I love fall and winter.
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Sep. 15, 2010 – 4:29am and I'm doing well thank you :)
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Sep. 15, 2010 – 7:19pm Sorry if I'm a little awkward at this; I'm still learning how to have fun conversations and still get my personality across. If you get tired of playing 21 questions, let me know.
Winter in California? I feel like that's an oxymoron. I imagine California being a place that people go to Escape Winter. What's Winter like there?
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Sep. 16, 2010 – 1:11am I know what you mean... meeting new people is always kind of awkward for me. or atleast talking to new people.
winter in California is just cloudy, windy, cold, with rain <333>
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Sep. 16, 2010 – 11:44pm I figured as much. Winter in New York means cold and hopefully Snowy. Snow: the prettiest form of Rain. I met a girl once, when I was around 12 or so, who was from Hawaii and had never seen snow before. I thought that was the saddest thing in the world...
I see you are into art. Do you mean the creative kind or art like performing art? What kind is your favorite?
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Sep. 17, 2010 – 2:28pm aww :( I've only seen snow on the ground when I was camping out with my sister and her friend. there wasn't that much.
I used to be in theatre and I was the leading role in a play a fellow student wrote. that's when I realized that acting is not for me. I mean, I'd like to and everything but I got so nervous I forgot my lines >.<>
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Sep. 18, 2010 – 11:52am I'm into the performing kind. I'm an actor who sings, dances, and plays some guitar. I do enjoy the creative arts, but the meaning of really majestic kinds of art are usually lost on me. It's hard for me to describe them past "It's really pretty". I do some drawing on occasion -- mostly anime and stuff -- but it takes me way too long to do something simple. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I think.
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Sep. 19, 2010 – 1:20pm I wish I knew how to play guitar. I've tried and failed miserably. >.<
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Sep. 19, 2010 – 2:38pm I'm still failing quite miserably. But I haven't given up on it just yet. What I really need is someone to teach me how to play, give me assignments and stuff. I can't learn something like that on my own.
I've taught myself a few songs by Flight of the Conchords, since they are fairly easy. But I'm far from being an actual Guitar player.
So why no school for you? I see that you work a lot, but couldn't you do part-time school, part-time work?
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Sep. 23, 2010 – 2:21pm sorry about the late response.
no school yet because everytime I sign up for classes i'm either overflow or the classes I sign up for get cut :/
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Sep. 24, 2010 – 12:51pm That's too bad. I love being in school. I think I'll end up taking classes for something for as long as I am able. I don't know what I'd do if I thought I wasn't going to learn something new.
What do you usually end up doing with your free time?
And that's the end of the conversation. She just kind of... fell out? Disappeared? Was disinterested? For once, I thought our conversation was actually going well in comparison to the other ones I'd had on the site. And yet, she just stops responding, and also apparently deleted her profile.
I was being very polite, showing a lot of interest, even asking questions! I really wanted to get to know this girl. And yet, I still managed to lose her. I don't get it, really. Now, assuming that it was my fault that she disappeared, and not some unforeseeable circumstance, Where did I go wrong?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a51DipqHFeo
ReplyDeleteit's five parts, enjoy
and don't beat yourself up. you did absolutely nothing wrong; it's neither yours fault nor hers. you're still young, so you have so much time to fail/succeed.
another thing, you know what they say about there being "more fish in the sea?" well, it's absolutely true. never lose hope. keep interacting with people and everything just gets easier with all your relationships, not only with women. i promise.
Above all, though, never lose concentration on bettering yourself FOR yourself, i know that sounds weird but trust me, the more inner strength you have, the more easier it'll be to get into relationships.
also,
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1293567067&sr=8-1
you may not become a huge pickup artist, but this book gives some insight in the guise of a really grand, adventurous story. don't take every single thing in the book (if you do get it) as the absolute truth.
good luck!